Is EMDR Emotionally Intense?
EMDR is such a different form of therapy, most people aren’t sure what to expect and can feel a bit nervous about starting. Usually that’s because they’re understandably hesitant to feel the feelings that might come up while doing EMDR. I won’t lie, remembering traumatic or very stressful experiences is no cake walk. So let’s talk today about how emotions can show up during EMDR. If you have more general questions about what EMDR is you can read more on EMDR here first.
Is EMDR Emotionally Intense?
Like most things when it comes to our mental health the short answer is it depends. The first question to ask yourself when trying to gauge this, is do you already tend to have big emotions? If yes, then that is likely to be true while doing EMDR too. If you tend to be fairly even keeled then while you will, and should, experience some emotions during an EMDR session, they likely won’t be super intense. Part of recovery from traumatic or stressful experiences is allowing yourself to feel the feelings that have been set to the side, bottled up or maybe never even had a chance to be identified. When it comes to recovery from these things the saying “the only way out is through” is so true.
Intense Emotions Are Not A Bad Thing
While it certainly can be very uncomfortable to have intense feelings, finally allowing ourselves to feel them in a controlled way and with support is an important step in the healing process. Studies show a direct correlation between allowing your feelings to happen, using the EMDR process for those feelings to eventually calm them, and significantly lowered rates of PTSD symptoms.
The feelings are not the problem, but sometimes the behavior that goes with the feelings can be. If you’re concerned about making unhealthy coping decision because of big emotions then your therapist will work with you to be sure that you can manage anything that comes up before starting EMDR.
Window of Tolerance
When it comes to experiencing emotions everyone has a unique capacity to manage different levels of feeling. Researcher and clinical psychiatrist Dan Seigel termed this idea The Window of Tolerance. This basically means that everyone’s ability to comfortably sit with a feeling is different. Some people can experience a very intense feeling, hang with it, let it run its course and then be okay. Some people become deeply disturbed when the slightest emotion pops up, this tends to be more true of trauma survivors. Part of the job of an EMDR therapist is get to know what each person’s windows of tolerance is, and keep the work within that window, while at the same time increasing the opening of that window for those who are very uncomfortable with emotions.
Keeping You Emotionally Safe
There are lots of ways your EMDR therapist can help you feel safe and ready even when emotions might get intense. Some of my favorite methods are:
Making sure a you have plenty of coping tools before starting EMDR
Establish a calm place before starting so you can easily visualize if you need a break
Help you reconnect with your body through movement, breathing, stretching, etc.
Change how eye movements and taps are being done
Help you remember that what we’re working on is in the past and you’re safe now
Imagine someone you feel safe with being in the memory with you
Provide encouragement and movement toward you spontaneously come up with your own creative way of keeping yourself regulated- this happens way more during EMDR than people expect
And always, always, if you are still feeling intensely at the end of your appointment, I give plenty of time to get grounded from that experience before we end. My goal is that no one is leaving the office/video call with their emotions still as raw as when they first started.
So yes, you might have intense feelings, or no you might not. If you do tend to feel deeply, that’s okay. A well trained EMDR therapist will work to make sure you stay within your window of tolerance, and can use all kinds of methods to support you if it gets to be too much. Even though EMDR has certain techniques and protocols, ultimately you are in the driver seat and get to ask for whatever support you need to finally get on the other side of those feelings. If you’re interested in learning more about EMDR or have questions feel free to reach out!